More couchin'
A weird one... She was still obsessed with the break "do you think I'm mad for keeping talking about this?" "yes". I talked about my 'xmas feeling' (sadness, anger, etc) - but she just wanted to know if I felt like that with her. (no). Then I got warmed up and started going on about my misery (!!) and the time was up ("I know this will be difficult, but we really do have to stop now").
....
Well... she was looking nice in a bright pink cardigan (and interesting bracelet - ooh, going anywhere special?)... and the place always smells nice in the morning. However, I was back at the 'can't speak' stage... I think I was sighing between every word I said. We just talked about that maybe I don't think she can help me, maybe I think I'm letting her down when I can't speak (I' m very aware now, that everything I say is then interpreted as reflecting my view of her!). Etc. Etc. Etc. But, bloody hell, I am tired. (last night we went on about me feeling down and how I used to think that people who voted Tory were BAD. I think she was still excited at the stuff I told her about my family!).
....
Argh - she stopped me in full flow cos the time was up: "I'm going to have to cut you short there" "huh? um.. err OK". I think she thought it was fruitful - I was going on about my time at school/bullying, etc. She thinks i have to get in first and denigrate myself before anyone else might... and that's also why I giggle at myself.. hmmm. (yesterday, she said I laugh to cover uncomfortable feelings I don't want to address) yikes. could definitely done with more time.
....
Well... she was looking nice in a bright pink cardigan (and interesting bracelet - ooh, going anywhere special?)... and the place always smells nice in the morning. However, I was back at the 'can't speak' stage... I think I was sighing between every word I said. We just talked about that maybe I don't think she can help me, maybe I think I'm letting her down when I can't speak (I' m very aware now, that everything I say is then interpreted as reflecting my view of her!). Etc. Etc. Etc. But, bloody hell, I am tired. (last night we went on about me feeling down and how I used to think that people who voted Tory were BAD. I think she was still excited at the stuff I told her about my family!).
....
Argh - she stopped me in full flow cos the time was up: "I'm going to have to cut you short there" "huh? um.. err OK". I think she thought it was fruitful - I was going on about my time at school/bullying, etc. She thinks i have to get in first and denigrate myself before anyone else might... and that's also why I giggle at myself.. hmmm. (yesterday, she said I laugh to cover uncomfortable feelings I don't want to address) yikes. could definitely done with more time.
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